Solemn appreciations of a Sunday

So today was an adventure, it started with a slew of errands, not all went well, but no worries.

One errand that I enjoyed was meeting up with a dear friend, and basically being shouldered by their dog for affection, Mouse is a fantastic dog.  We got to chat for an hour and talked shop which I enjoyed immensely, sadly I had to leave to do more errands.

After the errands, I learned I’m not the greatest at small group gatherings, all the uncomfortable quietness came out in stunning realization, to the point that one of my friends remarked about it openly, calling me out in front of the group…not my favorite situation as you might assume.  I’m trying to maintain my collected calm detachment.

Apparently the situation is nothing new, but terrible still.

So I ponder and convince myself the detachment is a good situation and a continuous choice worth making.  The continuation of a considered plan of action, or in this case, a plan of inaction weighs heavy.

The intention is a good one, but the struggle is a valid one, and I guess the best choice is further distancing.  It’s a massive disappointment, and just further separation from everyone.  A thing I don’t overall fear, but no longer really want.

Side note, a bright glimmering moment from the night, was a highly interesting conversation on what could be a new partnership, with someone I’ve come to highly respect professionally.  So that’s a positive bit that came from the day, I look forward to continuing that conversation.

So now I sit quietly at a fire, while others chat, and I almost feel like I’m a part of the group sitting around the crackling fire.  Maybe she’s right…maybe I over think shit and stress others out because of that.

I leave you with an image from a coming discussion that I’m planning…points for those that can figure out what the discussion might be about…


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